What you feel is something else that lives next door to sad, a regret that consists of sadness on behalf of someone because that someone feels sadness on behalf of you.
In all the vocabulary you know there is no word for that. If there were it would certainly be German. You slip out of bed and flip through the German box just in case, but you don’t find any such thing, and the floor is cold under your feet.
In heaven there will be no place for feelings of this type, which are made partly of sadness and partly of love. This too is a loss."- Bee, an interactive story by Emily Short